Mon 30-Apr-07: Limerick 14 "OMG"

Mon 30-Apr-07: OMG
Valerie Plame was "outed by the White House
By George Bush, Carl Rove, and a little mouse.
Certain Jail awaits those who release names
Of covert CIA agents for any games
Of this we're sure, somebody's still soused!

Sun 29-Apr-07: Limerick 13 Chapin, Harry

Flying high in his taxi gave him luck
Harry Chapin was a songwriter who was not a schmuck
As a singer and folk artiste, he was tops
As a driver with a suspended license, he was a flop
Especially when he slammed his car under a truck

Sat 28-Apr-07: Limerick 12 Chekov OEDilf.com

Anton Checkov is a playwright who's dead
Whose work often turned many heads.
The Cherry Orchard is one such play
Of His, that I can say
I understood what was actually said.

Fri 27-Apr-07: Limerick 11 checkbook

A checkbook keeps track of your money
It lets you give cash to your honey
In one part you list the amount
So later you don’t forget to count
Your balance, so it doesn’t get funny.

Thu 26-Apr-07: Limerick 10 "Chabad House"

There is one place all over the earth
Where Friday Night is celebrated with mirth
If there's a Jew that's around
He can surely be found
At Chabad's table, enjoying rebirth

Wed 25-Apr-07: Limerick 9 "The PC guy"

Limerick 9

The PC Guy said to his wife
I know I haven't a life
All my PC's here and there
Growl and Snarl like a bear
Since my cabling's on the dice.

Tue 24-Apr-07: Opera Trio (Limerick 8)

Opera Trio (Limerick 8)

Opera to me was always boring
'cause words so foreign made me be snoring.
Until at last I finally heard
Opera in English, lyrics quite absurd
Yet absorbing and not be abhorrent

Gilbert and Sullivan composers of your
Made Opera for me not be a bore
HMS Pinafore is a funny delight
Witty and charming it's sung just so right
And the Navy's plights just make it soar.

To my wife opera's simply a chore
Said she to me, "It just makes me snore"
Said I to she, "It's simply romantic"
She disagreed, saying it makes her frantic
'cause the soprano sounds like it's just been gored

Mon 23-Apr-07: The Pitch

The Pitch

Some things must never be done.
One is watch baseball and listen to their commentary.
For you see, better yet
Listen to the radio broadcast, while watching the game

This will affect you, and your brain
Because your mind will listen to the game
While your eyes see the whole frame
Thus training your eyes and your senses

Listening to the color commentary on the radio
Makes sense, because you can say, "Yo!"
My brain understands, and my eyes comprehend
All the stimuli that they receive.

Sun 22-Apr-07: Commercials (includes Limerick 7)

Commercials (includes Limerick 7)

My kids grew up without commercials
Because we watched PBS.
But still PBS has ads between their shows
We simply mute it, and talk about
Why commercials are so, so bad.

Our country's gone to pot,
Intelligence in the nation is simply shot.
Watching TV and ads just dulls your mind
Until a smart mind you can no longer find
The average consumer's mind is just shot.

So give up those commercials
TIVO through them so you don't get bored
And cause your children to become consumer whores
Abstinence is the word for the day
It's a way you too can play that way!

Sat 21-Apr-07: Radio

Radio

Just click off the T-V
There's a whole wide world out there.

Sitcoms simply suck the life-force from you
And have you sit and watch, but not do.

Radio allows you to live life to its fullest
By giving you a soundtrack for life.

Commercials? Who listens?
Simply turn them off in your mind.

Or better yet, channel surf
And, Just say, "No, No" to them!

And enjoy the rest of the show.
Just let go, and go with the flow.

Fri 20-Apr-07: The Cash Machine

Fri 20-Apr-07: The Cash Machine Limerick 6

Next in Line? Make it fast!
Or, your place in line may not last
Place your groceries on the belt
Scan your codes before your Ice Cream melts
Enter your PIN and cash is in your grasp.

Thu 19-Apr-07: Time for Renewal

Time 4 Renewal

No outs, One down
It's time to whittle the lead down.

Inside the pocket
It's time to swing.

Make that bat, sweat and sing
Boing the core, out past the field.

Make the fielder jump and miss
As you power a run in, to tie.

Rounding the bases you stop and chat
Saying to all, "How was that"?

Mon 16-Apr-07: Harriet Meyers

Harriet Meyers

Oh why, oh why, did you like, and lie?
Oh Why could you think you'd be by?
Did you not know telling the president lies every day
Would get in the way of your oath of office?

Oh Harriet, after you withdrew
Your name from the supreme court
Where did you think working for Bush would get you?
Oh Lie, Lie, Lied, in your bed now.

Let's see if you too get disbarred
Like Alberto and everyone else will
Was it good for you? We can't wait
For our chance to see you water-boarded at night.

WolfoWITZ is GOING G O N E

YEA! Paul is going...

OK.. lets see:

RUMsfeld: GONE
WOLFOWITZ : GONE


BUSH: Still STUBBORN and HERE
Dick Cheney: Still STUBBORN and HERE
Alberto: NEXT victim


IMPEACH the rest!

Sun 15-Apr-07: Da Man ,Donny

Da Man ,Donny

Donald Rumsfeld, he the man.
Ran our country into the garbage can.
He listened to Wolfowitz and 'then
Pushed our troops into a powder-keg and "bloomie".

Mashed, remains of US Army all around.
He vetoed the generals when they wanted half a million on the ground.
He didn't plan for after the war, what then?
And he didn’t resign for four years after doing this, WHEN?

Donny Rumsfeld, he cut our forces
And privatized the lot
Following Dick Cheney's orders, of course
And contracted with Halliburton for top dollars

Burn in Hell, Donny Rumsfeld
Or better yet, just roast in Gitmo Baya
And enjoy the delights of Water-boarding
And wish you hadn't violated the Geneva accords.

Sat 14-Apr-07: Time to Go

Time to Go

Alberto, hurry up or we'll be late
Fer Christ's sakes, what's the rush?
Well, Amigo, this is the list flight off the planet
If we miss it, our goose is cooked, said Bushki.

The UN has issued, you see a Global APB
To detain and arraign us
In a prison of our choosing
And I think it's either Abu-Grave, or gitmo-Bay

I prefer Abu-Grave, said Donny Rumsfeld
At least our GI's weren't too intense.
Ahem, Carl Rove said, I think we tortured there too
So, boss, where do you prefer to get screwed.

Umnh, Carl, I thought I gave this to you.
Why is it coming back in my face?
Boss, it's time you knew the truth
We lost the war, the congress, and the country too!

Fri 13-Apr-07: Shit Smells Dirty

Shit Smells Dirty

Isn’t it a shame that shit smells?
Whether you're a president
Or a nation-less enemy combatant
It still smells nasty, no matter who shat it

Bush forty-two is our worst leader
Three wars and two nuk-le-arh countries later
He took six years to can da Rumesfeld
Despite the carnage he's caused

We can't wait another two years
We need new relief NOW
Just like a migrane feels better
After you POUND it with three Aspirin.

Thu 12-Apr-07: The Ohio War

The Ohio War

You Dem's got owned.
We 'repub's blew away
State of Ohio's Web site
For the 2004 Bush Election day

Now how you say?
Simple, we stole the website that day
And sent them all to the RNC
So that we could do tallies for he!

Now the web don't lie
And it a mighty big Oh-My!
Betcha didn't know
Everything on the web gets logged, just so!

Wed 11-Apr-07: Dear President Bushki -- Sung to the tune of Officer Krupke

Wed 11-Apr-07: Dear President Bushki
(Sung to the tune of Officer Krupke from West Side Story)

Dear Unitary President
I think that you've been had.

You've destroyed our democracy
And screwed it up real bad

You've made all our country
The jerks of all the world
Why can't you just admit that you have failed?

(Chorus)
You have failed, You have failed
You have miserably failed
You have totally screwed us up.

(Music till next verse)

Dear President Bush-ki
We've found you out

Paul and Dick's wars are all to blame
And puppet master Cheney is totally insane

Your WMD War was not just about
Your Mideast policy is just insane

(Chorus)
It's insane, It's insane
It's insane and inane
It's just totally insane.

(Music till next verse)

Dear President torturer, haven’t you heard?
Water-Boarding torture is now a curse word?

Alberto Gonzales, the architect of that
Got rewarded and bumped upstairs
Bumped upstairs, Bumped upstairs,
Bumped upstairs, Bumped upstairs,
Alberto got bumped upstairs.

Now he denies, he denies, he denies and lies
He totally denies and lies

Dear President MBA, what can you do?
You’ve delegated all, through and through

Rumsfeld lied, so did Wolfowits
Cheney lies too, now in this bed you lie

All your MBA work has just gone to pot
It just shows that you don’t think a lot
Thoughtless planning, thoughtless review

Just so you know, you are through
you are through, you are through
you are through, you are through
And congress isn't done with you.

Your Daddy were a pres-dent
He thought he had a son
You mommy's golden goil
You never run a business
That 'tweren't in the RED
You sat out the Vietnam war
By claiming you were done
You've done your share of drinking
And driving DUI
You've even done the coke thing,
Then claimed that it was a lie

Good-ness gracious,
My oh My, are you HIGH?

Dear President Bush-ki
What are we to do?
You screwed up our country
And turned it into poo.

Your buddy Alberto be gone soon
Like the Donald Rumsfeld was

Puppet master Cheney just needs to be stopped
His terrible planning is just not a lot
His wings need to be clipped now
So he will stop. I guess that
Impeachment will say a lot!

Impeach now, Impeach now,
Impeach now, Impeach now,
It's time to impeach them now

(more to come)

Tue 10-Apr-07: The Contractor War

The Contractor War

Cheney was defense secretary
And started a little known plan
The plan to strip and rape our military.

His Plan? Can the KP Man!
Can the laundry man.
Can EVERYBODY but the fighters, Man!

So, he hired companies to serve the meals
And do the laundry and clean the fields
And whoops, he went to work for one (company)

And then he created the biggest war ever
And the last Defense Secretary hired
His ex-company, Halliburton to run the shit, man.

And now his shit's starting to smell
Smell as dirty as the swords coming from his mouth
As he too, denies anything is wrong.

Mon 09-Apr-07: Paul the Banker

Paul the Banker

Who you gonna call?
Paul the banker, Paul the banker
It's that HOT one, he Paul the banker

Paul de banker, da money man can
Give you a 50% raise, if you can "do" him
And are not a man!

He play poopie with our money
And give da money for nada, to his Goilfriend
And she do him, again, and again, and again

But Paul, da bankers are mad-mad
'cause Paul-da-banker does goilfriend
And Paul-da-banker gonna go, go, gone-soon!

And Bush, his MBA friend gonna go too
Oh No, say So, Paul de former banker!

Sun 08-Apr-07: Limerick 5 (Alberto's Trio!)

Limerick 5 (six and seven too!) Alberto's Trio!

Alberto, he be da boss of dey eight
But he say, I no know why dey so late.
Da President, he my man
Dat's why the eight was canned.
But wait, I don't know why I showed them the gate.

And to the congress, Alberto said:

I be sorry, I not so clear
You demanded me, so I am here
I did no wrong in canning the eight
Even though I have no idea why I showed them the gate
I only represent one man, he my dear!

Bushkie, he be my man.
So what, he got no plan…
He told me da eight no good.
So, I told them, Get back to the 'hood
What? I be chief law man for country? Damn!

Sat 07-Apr-07: Limerick#4 – Love stays

Limerick 4 – Love stays

Love doesn’t grow on trees
But you can find it on your knees
When she calls out to you
Best if you just 'coo
And joyfully, too, if you please.

Fri 06-Apr-07: Batting

Batting

It's time for a pitch
It's time for the throw
It's time for a foul-tip
No, now it's a ball.

A nice, clean strike zone
Ah, the crisp sound of wood, against the ball
Yes, it connects, giving the birds a run
Smacked above the players in center field.

Up in the sky, it’s a bird
No, it's a plane!
No. It's the ball
Soaring past the outfield wall!

Wed 04-Apr-07: Nero Fiddled

Nero Fiddled

As Rome started going up in flames,
Nero the emperor started to play his fiddle.

He watched Rome burn
And turned and turned.

He speeded it up
And saw it fall.

He slowed it down
And turned and frowned.

He walked away, and said,
"That's it for today!"

Tue 03-Apr-07: Wait for da Money

Wait for da Money

Da bankers, dey dem lied.
They gave us ATM's that snuck into our lives.

Dey claimed dey'd always be free
Dey calimed dey'd make life easy for you and me.

Da bankers sold us a bunch o' crap,
And now we da chumps that sit for that!

We remember when our money was free
Free from Fees, at the local ATM's.

We need to revolt and overthrow these banks
And make our cash say, "OH THANKS!"

Free our money, oh won't you please
From those lyin' banking thieves!