Sunday, December 31st, 2006: A new year?

A new year?
Is it really that time?
Already done with the old?
Time to discard the old, spent year.

I heard someone describe the year as a cell phone.
Every twelve months we decide to throw the old one
Into the garbage, for the newer, sleeker, sexier model.

Here’s to 2007
May we have a new policy in the world.
May we stop having poor leadership.
May the Vice President find his next position in
A cell, awaiting sentencing for his war crimes trial.

Saturday, December 30th, 2006: MADness.

MADness.

It's MADNESS I say.

You cannot have my machine.
I have my machine.

No. Internet is for ME, NOT for gaming.
You cannot change this.

I say,"Freedom or DIE!" you lame gamerz!


Oh, Okay, I will give you'se a Machine.
Play and enjoy. I'll go and do some chores.

Friday, December 29th, 2006: Why Oh Why?

Why Oh Why?

Why oh why,
Am I such an unlucky guy?

Why oh Why,
Do I need to strive and slave
To make my ends meet?

Why o Why?
Did I get the short end of the straw?

Why oh Why?
Ah, but lucky in love, makes everything worth it!

Thursday, December 28th, 2006: Reality Suckz

Reality Suckz

Back to the daily grind.
Children back in tow.

Ready, set, go back to work
Nah, it's still time to play.

Getting closer, I must say
To that dreadful, fateful day.

Wednesday, December 27th, 2006: Pangs of Home

Pangs of Home
(To the tune of Hail to the Chief*)

Hail to the Home
Where the children roam and roam.

Hail to the Kids
We have chosen to bring up.

Back to our Home
We are going with anticipation.

To see the damage our
Kids have wrought to us.

We have taken time to for fun and rejuvenation
Now is the time that we get set straight again.

Hail to our kids
We say to stop the machinations.

Hail to our home,
And what is left of it.

*

Lyrics by Albert Gamse
Hail to the Chief we have chosen for the nation,
Hail to the Chief! We salute him, one and all.
Hail to the Chief, as we pledge cooperation
In proud fulfillment of a great, noble call.
Yours is the aim to make this grand country grander,
This you will do, that's our strong, firm belief.
Hail to the one we selected as commander,
Hail to the President! Hail to the Chief!

Tuesday, December 26th, 2006:Upscale Mall

Upscale Mall
Oh Gambling's much fun
Till you have the runs.

That leave you mighty broke
And then you need to run.

So off for more shopping now
Except I wonder how.

With Tiffany, Gucci, Armani and Vuitton
What's left for us to pay the rent???

Oh, Upscale Mall.
I don't remember being so SMALL.

When did I become
one of the "off-the-walls"?

One of the lost peeps
That gives the rich so much of "the creeps"

That that mall makes me
want to run and Hide..

Oh, I'm so po-oo-oorr.
Did I sleep all through

A recession, or is it just me?
that bleeds and bleeds.

Nothing Left.
That's what I see inside.

Tons for the best,
but nothing for us down, the rest.

Oh, upscale mall.
You make my insides hurt.

Monday December 25th, 2006: "Cho-Ping"

"Cho-Ping"
Oh I'm 'gonna go shopping
All day-ey long.

Oh I'm in the one place that never closes
Not even Christmas Day.

Why, not you ask?
Well I'll tell you why.

'cause money talks
and religion walks.

When you're at a casino
All you do is buy, buy, buy

And never even wonder.. Why….

Sunday, December 24th 2006: Casino-ing

Casino-ing
Oh Casino I will go
Because there is no snow.

I do not remain at home
Because I'd be alone.

I'd rather be with poker machines
Then sniveling human 'beans.

Saturday, December 23rd 2006 Around the House

Around the House

Around the House, they went
In a circle, they looked and looked
Till they fell upon themselves, totally spent.

They did not guess the hiding places
Their parents had finally thought
Outsmarting the little devils again!

Friday, December 22nd 2006 Vacation Time

Vacation Time

Twas the business day before Christmas.
All through the office
Not a worker was working
Not even with a mouse.

The Air was thick
With pancakes, bacon and cheer
For this was the one day every year
The kiddies came to work.

The bosses had learned the lesson
Of Dickens' dead partner, Mr. Scrooge
And refused to let their workers
Do any work this one day of the year.

But tucked away in a corner
There was a little mouse
That was working for its master
Who needed still to work its tail.

The master had a spreadsheet
That showed how much he'd spent
The boss had told him stay there, or
No vacation could he be lent.

So Poor Mr. Worker Bee
Worked and worked his mouse
Till finally, he finished
And went back to his house!

Thursday, December 21, 2006 Brainwashed

Brainwashed
Christmas Music finally removed.
Hallajuah.

No Jingling Bells or Sleighs Tonight
Hallajuah.

Hallajuah. Hanakuah.
Presents. Candles, Lights, Latkes. *

Horrors. Rid of Christmas Music, only to be
replaced by refrains of…

…I am a latke
…I am a latke
…I am a latke
and I am waiting for Hanukkah to come. (998X)

Which is worse. Dead Karen Carpenter Christmas songs or
"I am a latke"

Tie me up…It's a tie!


* A latke is a (usually large) potato pancake

Wednesday, December 20, 2006 Phone Game

Phone Game
(to tune of take me out to the ball game)

Take me out to the tech store
Take me out with a gift card

I don't care if I don't come home.
I just wantta get a new telephone

But it's augh, augh, augh
the plans all suck

If you need to sign it's a sin
Cause it's brr-ring, brr-ring,
brr-ring me the calls at the mall tech store!

Tuesday, December 19th, 2006 Conspicuous Consumption

Conspicuous Consumption

It was Tuesday. The girls had their twin tofu brown matching jackets on.
School was out for the day.
The mall was ready for them. Christmas shopping.
Shoes??? No. Not today
They went directly to the Iguana Store. And soon,
They walked out in their twin brown iguana-leather pantsuit sets
So skin tight that every pore of their body stood out.
From the tip of their toes.
To the top of their shoulders.
And especially every spot in between.

And everymale smiled at them as they walked in the mall.

Monday, December 18th, 2006 Brief Ode to NYC

A Brief Ode to NYC

New York, New York *
A helluva town
The Bronx is up, But the Battery's down
I've lived in three fifths of the boroughs,
But now I'm out of town.

How do I miss thee?
Let me count the ways.

Raising my kids in the Suburbs?
Giving my kids more snow days off of school outside of NYC?
Taking the subway to work every morning?

Mowing the lawn?
Emptying the Garage?
Taking my own recycles to the dump?

Wandering around downtown
And simply looking around
Looking at the sixteen acre void.

Realizing that I once had an office
in the Trade Center.
On the 79th Floor.

But that was before I became
A NYC "expatriate"
One of the millions who move away.

And yet…
My kids and I visited the WTC in the fall of 2000.
Have we ever talked about it?
Spoken about it?
Or even acknowledged that?


* On the town, Written by Betty Comden, and Adolph Green, music by Leonard Bernstein

Sunday, December 17th, 2006

Sunday, December 17th, 2006 Family Time


Portions of The Circle Game. Joni Mitchell © 1970,
and Harry Chapin , CIRCLES © 1974


Hey it's a poetry mashup, and it seems to work!
================================================!!

Family Time:

All my life's a circle
Sunrise and sundown.
The painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on a carousel of time

Children are a fleeting phenomenon.
Unable to communicate, yet too short in our arms.

Infants cry, we sigh and comply.
Toddlers Crawl, and yet we cry.
The Moon rolls through the nighttime
Till daybreak comes around

All our live's a circle
And still we wonder why?

The years go spinning by my friend
And still we wonder why.
Toddling turns to school-time
And quiet becomes the norm

Our sweethearts start to grow up
And we need to start pulling away

And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
Were captive on the carousel of time
We cant return we can only look behind

Skate Wheels turn to car wheels
And graduation comes too fast

Before we know what happens,
We've been hit right in the "rear"

Toddlers first learn how to talk
And we have years of nonstop chatter
Then they become teenagers
And all conversations stop.

We can't return, we can only look
Behind, from where we came.

Graduation, and then college follows
And spouse and kids come all too soon
When did we become the old fogies?
And when did we start aching there too?

Seems like I've been here before
But, I just can't remember when

We can't return we can only look
Behind from where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game


Sources: 1)
The circle game. Joni Mitchell © 1970
Yesterday a child came out to wonder
Caught a dragonfly inside a jar
Fearful when the sky was full of thunder
And tearful at the falling of a star
Then the child moved ten times round the seasons
Skated over ten clear frozen streams
Words like, when youre older, must appease him
And promises of someday make his dreams
And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game

Sixteen springs and sixteen summers gone now
Cartwheels turn to car wheels thru the town
And they tell him,
Take your time, it wont be long now
Till you drag your feet to slow the circles down
And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
Were captive on the carousel of time
We cant return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game

So the years spin by and now the boy is twenty
Though his dreams have lost some grandeur coming true
Therell be new dreams, maybe better dreams and plenty
Before the last revolving year is through
And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
Were captive on the carousel of time
We cant return, we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game



2) CIRCLES

Harry Chapin © 1974

Chorus:
All my life's a circle
Sunrise and sundown
Moon rolls through the nighttime
Till daybreak comes around
All my life's a circle
Still I wonder why
Seasons spinning 'round again
Years keep rolling by

Seems like I've been here before
Can't remember when
I got this funny feeling
We'll all be together again
No straight lines make up my life
All my roads have bends
No clear cut beginnings
So far no dead ends

Chorus

I've met you a thousand times
I guess you've done the same
Then we lose each other
It's like a children's game
But now I find you here again
The thought comes to my mind
Our love is like a circle
Let's go 'round one more time

Chorus

Sat December 16, 2006 Cosmic Rest

Cosmic Rest

Astronauts do it.
Bees do it.

Bears do it.
Monkeys in the trees do it.

So why do so many of us
Refuse to rest?

Friday December 15th 2006 Communications Breakdown

Communications Breakdown

Crying. Whining.
Abject dependence.

Moving, Talking, No.
Start of Independence.

School, Diarrhea of the mouth
Enjoy it while it lasts.

Puberty. Silence. Nods.
Conquering "Evil Empire" of Parents .

Car Keys, Silence, Stupid Grin.
When did you get so stupid?

Thursday, December 14th: Failure SuckZ (Politics!)

PoliticS: More on Bush's failures: Poetry Special! Failure SUCKZ!

Note to my Poetry readers:
Because this is also going in my REGULAR Blog, portions may not be as smooth
as other poems, please forgive me in advance!

OK.
Failure Sucks.

Watergate Lies.
Nixon Resigns.

Delay Lies.
Delay Pays.

Bush⁴³, Cheney and Rumsey
Iraq, disaster, 40 years war.

Swears "no Draft" in debates in 2004.
Yet, will need 500K troops to stabilize THEIR disaster.

Congressman Mark Foley PLAYS on Computer
The Republicians in Congress PAY in November.

Bush's denials of problems in Iraq
.
Tells Blair, "It's baaddd in Iraq

-- does that help?"

Tony, Stay the course,
We'll stand firm in our war" **
As firm as DeLAY stayed (in Congress).

We'll fight radical Islamic Ideological Extremism
with radical Christian Ideological Extremism. ***

John McCain says , (I agree with him totally), that WE NEED MORE TROOPS
Your former supporter, Virginia Sen. John Warner
says you need to consult with congressional leaders
But, CAN YOU LISTEN?

Senator Warner, says that Congress needs to involve itself
Finally, it's about time, that Republicans admit problems

Warner also said our troops
must not be dragged into a civil war.

What's that? Shiaa versus Sunni
or is it just everyone against the Americans?

And Now, (democratic senator) Tim Johnson, from
South Dakota had BRAIN SURGERY.

However, The Senate historian's office says that the only way there would be a vacancy to fill is if the Senator dies or resigns, since even if incapacitated, he can remain in office.

To Senator Tim in Hospital in Dee Cee
We wish a speedy recovery to thee.

Your vote is important, your seat is historic
we want to seat Cheney and pacemaker
as close as possible to the Senate Microwave pacemaker (cooker)
Cheney : My nominee for WCT 08 – War Crimes Tribunal 2008 indictment!

* A direct quotation from our President
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2006/12/08/MNG75MS0PL1.DTL&type=printable

** Tony,
"In that war, our nation stood firm," Bush said. "There were difficult moments during that war, yet the leaders of our two nations never lost faith
in the capacity to prevail. We will stand firm again in this
first war of the 21st century."

*** Bush, at the Press Conference with Blair (noted:)
"the Iraq war is part of a long fight against
ideological extremism,
and drew a comparison with World War II
and noting the anniversary of the Dec. 7 attack
on Pearl Harbor.

Wednesday December 13, 2006 Bored.

Bored. Board. Bored of Computers.
They seem to make me sneeze.

Bored. Bored. Bored of mundane-ness.
Bored of the boredom too..

I'm bored waiting for that tree!

Bored. Bored. Bored in the Jungle.
Listening to the Bees.

Tuesday December 12, 2006 Strangers in the Night

Tuesday December 12, 2006 Strangers in the Night

Contractors in the store
Exchanging employers

Free-lancers who work
For highest bidders.

We're called out here at night
When something goes ka-boom

We fix the machines
And pick up all our things

And move on to the store
that's next on our list

Something in the night
Brings us out here together tonight
And lets us go establishing
A plan, to help us understand

How we can conquer thissssssss…

- - -

Strangers in the night
Writer(s): kaempfert/singleton/snyder

Strangers in the night exchanging glances
Wondring in the night
What were the chances wed be sharing love
Before the night was through.

Something in your eyes was so inviting,
Something in you smile was so exciting,
Something in my heart,
Told me I must have you.

Strangers in the night, two lonely people
We were strangers in the night
Up to the moment
When we said our first hello.
Little did we know
Love was just a glance away,
A warm embracing dance away and -

Ever since that night weve been together.
Lovers at first sight, in love forever.
It turned out so right,
For strangers in the night.

Monday, December 11, 2006 Attention, Attention

Attention: Attention. Attention Deficit Disorder.
Simple words. A.D.D.
Yet, very complex thoughts.

Is our entire world afflicted with A.D.D?
Many teachers see kids who are easily distracted.

But. Is it "Real? Or is it Memorex??"
Or more accurately.

If I had a hammer,
I'd hammer in the morning
I'd hammer in the evening
All over this world.

I'd hammer at danger.
I'd hammer at justice.
I'd hammer at the wars between my brothers and my sisters,

Oh, Everything would look like a nail.
If only I had a hammer.

But, if I had a class to teach,
I'd look at the kids as distractions,
Oh simple yet, destructive, ruining my class.

I'd want to medicate,
I'd want to sus-pe-end

I'd want to tell the parents
Their little one was afflicted
And tell them to get rit-a-lin

But if I stop and think.
I'd see there's a prob-leee-men
Too much drugs,
destroys our children,

And in the end, we need the kids to learn
That they weren't the first to be jumpy
They won't be the last to be jumpy
and, they just need to work to overcome the
jumpie jumpies.

Sunday December 10th, Bi-coastal

Some People are Bi-costal
Some People are Bi-sexual
And some people are Bi-polar.

Bicoastals live their lives on planes,
Bisexuals live a life centered in the rear,
And Bipolar people just give other people a pain.

Bicoastal people live in the swing of the scene
And Bisexuals live for the scene of a swing
But Bipolar people just like to make a scene.


Time Zones change for bicoastals.
Sexes change for the bisexual.
But the poor bipolar always cycles his moods.

Pacific - East Coast
Male – Female
MANIC – DEPRESSIVE

Living life on both coasts.
Enjoying both sexes
Unable to control the body and the mind.

Good Sometimes.
Dangerous some of the time
Painfully difficult all of the time.

Painfully dedicated to a customer of mine.. 12/10/06
And her attempts to cause massive pain, nausea and
Maximum damage deliberately

My personal remembrances of you
Will always be filled with
distain, pain, and lots of shit.

Saturday, December 9th, Asbestos Required.

Saturday, December 9th, Asbestos Required.

Sung to the tune of "Down by the Riverside" Please have an asbestos coat
and gloves handy to quell the flames as you sing.


I'm gonna bury my firearms
Right here in the USA
Right here in the USA
Right here in the USA

Gonna bury my firearms.
Right here in the USA
Right here in the USA

(chorus)
I ain't gonna study war no more.
I ain't gonna study war no more.
Ain't gonna study war no more.
Not here in the "gold ole" USA
Not in the USA.
Not in the USA.

Don't want to have no Frigging Draft
Keep Uncle Sam back outta my "rear"
Keep Uncle Sam back outta my "rear"
Keep Uncle Sam back outta my "rear"


So lets get George's twins hitched up real fast,
Or get em preggers first
Let's get em preggers first
We wanna a fairer draft.

We're gonna be in the new Mid-East
For twenty to forty years
Yes, twenty to forty years
Oh , twenty to forty years

43 will forever be revered
Way past his impeachment trial
Way past his impeachment trial
Way past his impeachment trial

43 will go down in history
As the starter of World War III
As the starter of World War III

And Donny Rumsfeld will see
What a war criminal's cell will be
What a war criminal's cell will be
What a war criminal's cell will be

But Dick Cheney will hear some bells
He's the guy who started this war (3X)
But Dick Cheney will hear some bells
When he roasts in hell
For starting this crummy war.

Friday, December 8th (placeholder)

Friday December 8th, 2006

My hat has three corners
Three corners has my hat.

I wear many many hats. Do you?
I wear my boss one hat,
It's clean and has no cats.

I go to work each day and night
And have no time to fight

I wear my boss two hat at home
And stop my cat
Who scratches on the bed
And then gets kicked out on his head
And is locked outside in the hall

Thursday, December 7th, 2006 Christmas Cheer is here

Thursday, December 7th, 2006

Christmas cheer is near
Oh, set up another beer.

It's time for stopping carols now,
Let's go and get some chow.

Chinese food, if you please
They don't play carols now.

From store to store I go and go
and all I hear is "cheer".

Oh. Muzak sucks right now.
Do you need me to tell you how?

I cannot get this tune from my head,
I'd (almost) rather be dead.

Oh. Muzak sucks in December.
Somewhat better rest of the year.

I have no brain cells left, and it's
Not quite yet New Years Eve!

Wednesday, December 6th.Beep Beep (2)

Beep. I'm sorry...No one is home at the moment, please leave a message.
Beep. Oh. Did you need more time to record your message?
Press alpha to try again.
Press omega to continue your message where you left off.
Press theta to try the telephone extension again.
Press 9 for a recorded directory.
Press any other key to be disconnected.

Tuesday, December 5th Beep Beep.

Road Runners. Electronic Door Bells. Alarms.
Things that incessantly go BEEP.

Road Runners? Not a problem.
Door Bells? I like old fashioned ones.
Bad battery alarms on a UPS? Augh.

A basic program in honor of the alarm:
10 echo "beep"
20 count 60
30 goto 10

Shrill music to work by all night. Beep; Pause; Beep; Pause;
Repeat 840 times.
Augh.
Tylenol anyone?

Monday December 4th, 2006 The Gas, it is a changin'

Election’s over. Gas Prices rise.
Rumsfeld’s gone. Death tolls still rise.
Iraq’s a mess, and who we gonna blame?
Georgie 43, beats Millard (*) as our new worst president ever!

When the draft hits all our children
We’ll know who to blame.
Blame it all on Georgie 43!
He’s the one that the Saudi’s love you see.
The Sauds who rule the oil, and have lots of them as friends.

When the war’s gone on and on
And we, can’t wait to get home
When our bases in Iraq start to crack
From being used for fifty years.

When the draft hits all our children
We’ll know who to blame.
Blame it all on Georgie 43!
He’s the one that the Saudi’s love you see.
The Sauds who rule the oil, and have lots of them as friends.

Now 06 is almost gone, and Georgie’s lost all his friends.
Rumsey’s gone, but Cheney’s here.
And Baker is coming near.

Now it’s time for Georgie’s impeachment, and
Then his war crimes trials.

Oh and Dicky boy must go, so Nancy, can fill in.
Dick can go on torture row, and then claim it’s not unreasonable.

When the draft hits all our children
We’ll know who to blame.
Blame it all on Georgie 43!
He’s the one that the Saudi’s love you see.
The Sauds who rule the oil, and have lots of them as friends.


(*) (Millard Filmore, the 13th president of the United States)

Sunday, December 3rd, 2006 Nails

Sunday, December 3rd, 2006 Nails

Finger, Toe, ingrown, cuticles.
Search for relief.

Ahh. Nail cutter equals bliss.
Clip. Clip. Chop. Chop,

Throw out, Throw out.
Ah, what a relief it is.

Sat. Dec 2nd, (TV SUCKS)

Sat Dec 2nd, 2006
507 channels. Ain’t Nothing on.
Television. The vast wasteland.

With three networks, we watched what the
powers that be told us to watch.

Then there was MTV and BTV, TVland, and Nick at Nite
And Cspan CNN & CourtTV show us what’s not right all night.

Cartoon Network, SciFi Channel take us from our house all day
And HGTV and game show network lets us play instead of pray.

And even discovery channel, animal planet can’t keep our intelligence
And show us stuff that we had to miss.

And yet we wonder why oh why,
Can’t our children spell or try
To read our world and know its true,

That just plain old truth that TV’s why
Our civilization has started to die.

507 channels and nothin’s on.

-----Original Placeholder follows:
In another placeholder, another song ...

Of course 17 years later, it's no longer

57 channels, and nothing's on
but
507 channels, and nothin's on
sigh


1992
Performer Bruce Springsteen
Title 57 channels (and nothing's on)
I bought a bourgeois house in the Hollywood hills
With a truckload of hundred thousand dollar bills
Man came by to hook up my cable TV
We settled in for the night, my baby and me

We switched 'round and 'round 'till half-past dawn
There was fifty-seven channels and nothin' on
Fifty-seven channels and nothin' on
Fifty-seven channels and nothin' on

Well, now home entertainment was my baby's wish
So I hopped into town for a satellite dish
I tied it to the top of my Japanese car
I came home and I pointed it out into the stars

A message came back from the great beyond
There's fifty-seven channels and nothin' on
Fifty-seven channels and nothin' on
Fifty-seven channels and nothin' on

Well, we might'a made some friends with some billionaires
We might'a got all nice and friendly if we'd made it upstairs
All I got was a note that said: "Bye, bye John"
Our love is fifty-seven channels and nothin' on
(Fifty-seven channels and nothin' on)

So I bought a .44 Magnum, it was solid steel cast
And in the blessed name of Elvis, well, I just let it blast
'Till my TV lay in pieces there at my feet
And they busted me for disturbing the almighty peace

Judge said: "What you got in your defense son?"
Fifty-seven channels and nothin' on
Fifty-seven channels and nothin' on
Fifty-seven channels and nothin' on

I can see by your eyes, friend, you're just about gone
Fifty-seven channels and nothin' on
Fifty-seven channels and nothin' on
Fifty-seven channels and nothin' on

Fifty-seven channels and nothin' on
Fifty-seven channels and nothin' on
Fifty-seven channels and nothin' on

Friday, December 1, 2006 Jingling Bells

Shopping Bells Jingle.
Cash Registers tingle.

Crowds around the stores.
The're not waiting for s'mores.

Billfolds flying round and round
and skidding across the floors.

Greed and excess fight
to the cheering crowds' delight.

Oh what fun it is at night,
when the doors are locked with might.

Oh. Christmas Cheer, Christmas Cheer
Thank heavens you only come once a year.